New poem (OMG?!) by Cei

I made a new poem from boredom, I reckon it’s a little morbid but Rion thinks otherwise.

I watch each day go by,
I watch the eagles fly,
I watch the crickets sing,
I watch the nobles be king,
I watch the stars at night,
I watch the Lion hunt with all its might,
I watched your last breath,
I watched your last sigh,
I watched your final smile,
I watched your final while,
I watched as you slip away,
I watched as others dismay,
Only now I shed my tears,
For now it has been years,
For now you are gone,
For now I am alone,
Sitting in a grassy plain,
As if feeling I was insane,
I finally smile,
For I shall see you in a while,
For now is my turn,
My turn to achieve freedom…

Probably in a similar format as my other one but meh, I don’t feel like being too original atm.

Kiel Hyre Fic Part.3

Yes guys part 3 is going to be short because I’m lazy, I’m tired and I’m going to the dentist tommorow. /horror face

Anyway, enjoy.

Continuing from Part.2…

Troa: Oh god oh god oh god ogodogodogod
Remi: *slap* Calm down, does anyone have a green potion?
Rion: Uh, no Remi. You drank the last one remember?
Remi: …oh, right.
Genvrier: Got none sorry. Lets just catch up to Vivi and see if she has any.

Narrator: The remainder of the group walk through the secret portal to find themselves in a kitchen!

Troa: Woo…food….*woozy from poison*
Vivi: Troa! You don’t look too good. D=
Rion: Of course not, he got poisoned when you ran off on your own.
Remi: *closes Rion’s mouth* Anyway, have any green potions?
Vivi: Nope!
Group: ….
Troa: Wheee~~~ I see the light! God, is that you? *rubs Genvrier’s leg*
Genvrier: ….-_-+++ /Karate Chop
Troa: *faints*
Genvrier: Remi, drag Troa along, the poison shouldn’t kill him, yet.
Remi: *casts slow poison* Gah, as if this skill’s worth anything I mean c’mon. Stop poison for 45seconds?
Rion: I know rite? Only thief class gets detoxify and they’re not even support!

Genvrier: C’mon guys, we gotta look for an antidote for Troa.
Vivi: Antidote? Why didn’t you say so! *pulls out green herb* Here!
Remi: You had that all along?
Vivi: Yup! =D
Genvrier: You…You…..! Forget it. *stuffs herb in Troa’s mouth*

Rion: *Pours water down Troa’s mouth*
Troa: *chokecoughchoke*
Vivi: Troa lives! XD
Rion: He almost died =\

Troa: Oh god that tasted bad, what’s that liquid you poured in my mouth?
Rion: Umm…*hides animal gore bottle*
Troa: ….*barfs*
Genvrier: Guys! C’mon already!
Remi: Hey guys, what’s this box? It looks like a vending machine…
Rion: Right…it sells pet food? Why would you buy pet food for 1k each?! Rip off!
Genvrier: -_-++ *walks ahead*

Vivi: *buys pet feed*
Troa: Sometimes, I don’t know if I understand you Vivi.
Vivi: *prances to catch up with Gen*
Remi: Alright, lets go guys.

 

Narrator: As the group proceeds, they venture around the huge cottage which is totally out of proportion compared to what was visible outside.

Remi: Whoa…Elly’s grandpa must be loaded. Look at this place.
Troa: This dinner table’s as long as the crusader’s hall of redemption…
Rion: There’s such thing?
Troa: You didn’t hear that from me…
Genvrier: *observes the weird map*
Vivi: Is there something wrong?
Genvrier: Something about the map seems odd… Oh well, must be my mind playing tricks on me again.

 

Narrator: To keep the story nice and interesting, I’ll skip the major puzzles required to actually do the quest, which I might include in a different fic if demand allows.

 

Remi: Hey look, there’s some stairs to get to the 2^nd floor! Lets go!
Troa: Last one up’s a rotten poring!
Rion: Noway, I wanted to be an angeling!
Vivi: *walks up slowly*

Genvrier: Damnit, I’m not being called a rotten poring! *runs*

 

And at the top of the stairs they find…

 

Doggy: WOOF WOOF! NO ENTRANCE WOOF!

Troa: Dawww a wittle doggy’s guarding his territory!

Remi+Rion: Awwweh!
Genvrier: Move doggy, *goes to kick*

 

Doggy digivolve to…! Cerberus! (mon?)

 

Genvrier: …Is he cute and little now?
Group: ….Last one down’s dog food. *flee x4*

 

Vivi: *still walking up the stairs as the guys fly down*

Genvrier: Vivi! Come down here!
Vivi: *walks towards the big scary doggy*

Troa: Damnit, stop her!
Rion: Nooo! Vivi!
Remi: It’s too late!
Cerberus: ./maul

 

Narrator:

What’ll happen to Vivi?

Will the Cerberus feel full tonight?
Will our friends save her in time?
Will I ever stop asking you these questions?
Find out next time on S P FIC Z!!!

Cerberus: ./maul
Narrator: OH GOD MY SPLEEN! No wait, that’s my append- OH GOD MY SPLEEN!!

Kiel Hyre Part.2

Kiel Hyre Part.2 

 

Continuation from Part 1

Elly: A letter for me? Do show!
*reads the letter*

Elly: ….Very strange

Troa: What is it?

 Elly: I don’t know…but…maybe you can go back to the cottage and find a secret passage. 

 

Genvrier: No way, I almost died from the amount of dust.

 

Troa: You’re so soft Gen.

 

 

Genvrier: -_-++ Fine, I’ll go

Vivi: Secret Passage~~ Yay!
Rionell: So Elly, where is the secret passage??

Elly: I used to play with it a long time ago, it’s under the stairs but you need to open the switch.

Troa: And the switch is where?

Elly: It’s in one of the very dusty bookcase, I don’t remember because it’s been such a long time.

Genvrier: Very….Dusty…Bookcase……………………..

Troa: You really are soft Gen. /giggle

Remi: ./ridiculebeam

Genvrier: NO! NOT THE RIDICULE BEAM!! AGHHJWEAJFLIEJAWED fine lets go.

Vivi: *glomps Genvrier*

Narrator: Back at the house, the party searches the superdustyomgwtfbigspidarzgonnaeatmybrainzduntouchmepls row of bookcases to find the secret passage entrance switch.

Genvrier: *in fetal position* Dust is not poison, dust is not poison….

Troa: Where’s that *(#@ing switch?!

Genevieve: Ah! Found it!
Rionell: LET’S GO!! *runs into a wall*

Remi: …/heal+ridiculebeam

Rionell: That feels goo- AHHHHH! THE BEAM!! IT’S MELTING MY GHEI!!

Troa: Seems like we all gotta press the switch for ourselves, where is it Vivi?

Vivi: It’s right he….Heee?! Where’d it go??? D=

Genvrier: *rocks back and forth*

Remi: Agh, more searching?! As if I didn’t get enough spider bites already

Troa: Yeah um, I don’t have anymore green potions guys. *takes out a book* Just be careful alri- AHH! IT BIT ME!!!

Vivi: A spider?!

Rionell: *rolls around to get rid of fier from ridicule beam*

Remi: A man-eating book?!

Narrator: *Deathword x100 has appeared*
Troa: Whew…I thought it was a spider….waitasec *stares at Deathword flock*

Remi: Uhhh….I don’t think I can heal fast enough…or Ress fast enough for that matter.

Vivi: *hugs Rionell and cowers*

Genvrier: *still hiding from the mountains of dusts*

Troa: I’ll fix this! Summon Guardian Force! Cyaran the Berserker!!

Cyaran: You again Troa, this better be good.

Deathword flock: Meat! Meat! MEEAAATTTT!!!!!!!!!!

Cyaran: Oh, I see your point. Very well!

Battle Start!

Cyaran uses Bowling Bash!

Rideword flock receives 3000 damage!

Rideword flock uses attack!

Cyaran receives 40×100 damage!

Cyaran: This is gonna be tougher than I thought

Cyaran uses Frenzy! MaxHP X10! Attack speed +30%! Damage +4000%!

Cyaran uses Blade Dance!

Rideword flock receives 1337 x4000 damage!

Rideword flock died!

Cyaran wins!

Conflict Resolved!

Troa: What was that skill you used?

Cyaran: Frenzy?

Troa: No…the other one…*snerks*

Cyaran: What’s wrong with blade dance?!

Troa: *imagines Cyaran in a pink frilly dress*

Everyone: ROFLMAOMGWTFH4X0RZ!!

Cyaran: ….*twitch*

Troa: Ehh….That was a good laugh, sorry, couldn’t help myself.

Cyaran: Next time, fight your own battles. *teleports out*

Remi: Ah well, atleast we’re not bloodstains on those crazy books. Hey! There’s only 1 book left!

Troa: It must be the switch! *pulls It out* Yes! Sweet victory! *opens the book*

HALT!!

Narrator: I’ll give you 1 guess to guess what’s in the book is it

A)     The switch

B)      Text

C)      Potion of Eternal Life

D)     A hairy, venomous spider.

 

And the answer is….*drumroll* D!

No just kidding, it’s A. Got your hopes up! MWAHAHAHA!! Anyway…

Troa: YES! THE SWITCH! Everyone press it at the same time.

Remi: Alright

Vivi: But I already pressed it! *walks into the secret passage*

Rionell: *drags Gen* OK!!

Troa: Ready, set, pu- AHHH!!!

Remi: What’s wrong?!

Troa: A SPIDER! IT BIT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Play horror music*

Narrator: Troa’s poisoned and Vivi’s gone ahead, what will they do? Where does the secret passage lead? Will the group ditch Troa? Will Cyaran ever get a frilly pink dress?!?!

Find out next time!

Just the other day…

Respiel Esleth : Sc00s me, millionare coming through
Fuko Ibuki : XDDD
Fuko Ibuki : … You know..
Fuko Ibuki : You can always sell it like…
Fuko Ibuki : 1m smaller… =D;
Respiel Esleth : That would be economically silly
Fuko Ibuki : Fine,. XO
Respiel Esleth : We’re unfortunately not those bigshot people who control market price
Respiel Esleth : YOU! YOUR POTS ARE TOO SPENSIVE!
Respiel Esleth : GO DAI NAO PLS! YOU FIERED!
Rionell Hotaru : LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fuko Ibuki : XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
Torrid Zelestor : YOU! YOUR +9 MUFFLER IS 30m OVER! YOU’RE FIRED TOO!!
Fuko Ibuki : LMAO!!!!
Torrid Zelestor : OH MY GOD! DO YOU PEOPLE KNOW PRICING! YOU’RE ALL FIRED!!
Rionell Hotaru : HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Nagisa Furukawa : LOL!!!
Torrid Zelestor : CUSTOMER UN-SATISFACTION IS AT 400% HIGH! YOU IDIOTS!!!
Torrid Zelestor : WHO GRADUATED YOU?!?!
Nagisa Furukawa : Nagisa: >>
Rionell Hotaru : ROFL!
Nagisa Furukawa : Nagisa: … What? Why are you all looking at me like that?
Nagisa Furukawa : Nagisa: It wasn’t me, it was HIM! *points at Remi* >>

Student, Mentor and Chairman O_O
WoE is the conflict in which guilds continuously exchange punches and spells and arrows at each other in order to obtain an all powerful guild dungeon. WoE is dominated by the level 99 guilds
That was a part of an RO addicted student’s essay
Mentor: WHAT IS THIS?!?! IT RELATES NOTHING TO THE ECONOMICAL GROWTH!!
Student: But…but…Guilds that win castles get richer D=
Mentor: THERE’S NO CASTLES IN NEW YORK!! THERE’S NO GUILDS!!
Mentor: ARE YOU SOME KIND OF IDIOT?!
Student: ….*plays RO and ignores him*
Mentor: Ohh! That looks fun! *kicks student off PC and starts playing*
Student: HEY! YOU’RE GONNA GET ME KILLED!!
Mentor: No way! I’m 2% from level 99, kiss my ass sucka!!
Student: GOD DAMNIT!! HOW’D HE BEAT ME!!
Mentor: What? You think I set you homework so you’d learn??
Mentor: AS IF! YOU FELL FOR IT LIKE A SACK OF COLD POTATOES!!
Student: ….*chases Mentor’s char with sword*
Mentor: LIEK OMG! PEE KAY!!
Mentor: 0.1% ‘TILL YOU EAT MY DUST! MWAHAHAHA!!
Student : …*pulls out Bloody Branch*
Mentor: Ohhh a branch drenched in blood, like what’s it gonna do??
Student: *snap*
231843x Valkyries spawn
Mentor: ….Oh F**k
Student: HA! YOU SAID A NAUGH- *gets slaughtered*
Mentor: HA! I CAN STILL R- *gets silenced, stunned and pwned*
Mentor: AWW F**K! IT TOOK ME 2 hours to get that last %!!
Chairman of Education: What the hell is going on here?!
Student: Uhh….a “friendly” game of Ragnarok Online?
Chairman: OHH! YOU’RE STILL LEVEL 98! YOU SUCK NEWBZ!!
Mentor: Wtf?!
Student: YOU H4X1NG BASTARD!!
Chairman: *gets on level 99 champion and pwns the Valkyries*
Chairman: THATS RIGHT SUCKAS!! I GOT A VALKYRIE ARMOR!!
Chairman: THANKS FOR THE FREE KILL AND ITAMZ NEWBZ!!
Mentor + Student: ….Lets get him
*Trensi Fles, lord of clicky pen is summoned*
Trensi Fles: *pulls out Azoth and stabs Chairman’s char*
Chairman: OMGWTF! I’M A PORING!!
Random nub: OMG! PORING! GIMME JELLO FOR MACHINE GUN PLZ!!
Chairman: I’M A CHAIRMAN! YOU CAN’T KILL ME!! OMG PEEKAY! HELP PLZ!
Randum Nub: Oman, just some stupid Valkyrie Armor. *throws away*

Mentor + Student: *stares at Valkyrie Armor*
Mentor: …Split profit 50-50?
Student: You know it
*Insert Dramatic ending laugh and song video*

Credits:
Creator: Me

Writer: Me

Editor: Me

Trensi Fles is character made by Aragan from Ragnarok Wisdom. *Used without permission*

Copyright Laws: Violation will result in large dosage of physical pain including the snapping of bloody branches.

Don’t make me open another can of Whoopass (TM)!

The Possibilities…

I just had a crack idea of the possibilities Nagisa can achieve at 99

They are…

Killing the dreaded monsters in Niffleheim without fear of losing EXP.

Hunt strong monsters without fear (of death).

Go to fight MVPs and die/teleport to leave the rest to die.

Make enough money to rebuild her Dark Castle with a more sturdy material (No unfortunately gingerbread just doesn’t hold up in the rain)

Employ an army of spartans to dominate the world.

Employ an army of spartans to remove the SP group and dominate Tomoya.

Lastly…

Gather enough money to get a marc card to prevent herself being frozen while trying to pwn Torrid with love skills which is actually controversial as it heals/recovers Torrid and shows him affection rather than physically, mentally or spiritually injuring him and therefor becomes as useless as her brain.

That’s the end of my rush of ideas O_O

NO YOU CAN’T ASK QUESTIONS!!

NO YOU CAN’T GO TO THE TOILET!!

NO YOU CAN’T EAT POPCORN!!

NO YOU CAN’T GET AUTOGRAPHS!!

NO YOU CAN’T STEAL NAGISA’S MARC CARD!!

No, the contents are copy-righted by me and Gravity.

Sit back, relax and open a can of whoopass (TM) to get rid of those annoying beggars.

To be continued…?

Kiel Hyre Part.1

I will not be held liable for the small twists of facts created by my twisted mind in this fic. I have the rights to say nothing. NoThInG!! NOTHING! CAN YOU COMPREHEND THIS ENGLISH NOW?!?!

Seeing how this is a fic, I’m twisting the profile of Remi into an older person.

The gang of 5 receives a quest from a troubled bar keeper who requires a part-timer to deliver wine as a replacement to his missing errand boy.

Troa: So, we’re delivering wine to this infamous Kiel Hyre School huh?

Remi: Yeah, I hear there are lots of pretty girls in there.

Vivi: Fun fun~~ To the Gen Mobile!

Troa: Troa Mobile!

Rionell: It’s just a mobile, ok? =D;;

Genvrier: What did I do to deserve this…?

And so the gang heads over to Kiel Hyre’s School and are stopped by the security.

Guards: Halt! What is your business here!

Troa: Oh, we’re delivering wine to Mrs. Um… Lecollane.

Vivi: Yus yus! Mr. Barkeeper from Juno couldn’t find his errand boy!

Remi: We walked in and he asked us to do it. Of all the random things…

Guard 1: Let me check with her.

Guard 2: *stands on duty quietly*

Rionell: Ohh, you’re one of those old school guards that doesn’t move!!

Guard 2: *silent*

Rionell: Hmm… Ah! Magnum Exormiscus…Magnum Exorsicmus…Magnum whatchamacallit!1!1!

Guard 2: *freezes over in hell*

Rionell: *rolls on floor laughing*

Genvrier: RION! GET US OUT OF THIS ICE SCULPTURE!!!

Troa: I look great on tropical punch!

Remi: You couldn’t have given us early warning? I would’ve put on a better pose.

Vivi: Yay ice!!

 

Guard 1: Okay, the teacher was expecting the wine so if you could please come wit-…WHAT HAPPENED HERE?!

Rionell: *still laughing on the floor*

Everyone else: UNFREEZE US NOW!!

After a few minutes of defrosting, the group of 5 enters the school to deliver the wine to Mrs. Lecollane.

Lecollane: Thankyou, now that you have no business here, please leave. >D

Elly: *drops stuff on the floor*

Lecollane: Elly! Do that again and I’ll fail you for the semester! >O

The group of 5 containing mostly cheerful and helpful people decides to comfort her and ask if she needed any help.

Genvrier: How did I get pulled into this…?

Narrator: HEY! I said you were COMFORTING her! That’s NOT comfort!

Genvrier: …As I was saying, how did I get pulled into this…? >.>

Narrator: ….*drops a dead Alice robot on Genvrier*

Genvrier: Hey what th-…!

 *CRASHBOOMFIZZLEPOP*

Genvrier: …..ughh…..*unconscious*

Narrator: Now, with Mr. Grumpy out of the picture, the rest of the group offers to help Elly.

Elly: I need to get more ingredients to make my speshul cookies! Could you please get me some??

Troa: Yeah I guess that’s simple enough.  Lets get going.

Narrator: Now, it seemed simple but in fact, it was more annoying than he anticipated.

Wine – Free from barkeeper as payment. No challenge yet.

Bag of Flour + Egg – Walk to Lighthalzen to get a box of them first please O_O

Cheese – CLOUD HERMITS! STOP TELEPORTING SO I CAN KILL YOU!!

*interruption*

Troa: Why would cloud hermits drop us cheese?

Genvrier: Trust me, you wouldn’t want to know…*barfs*

*end interruption*

Milk – ZOMG WHERE’S THE MILK LADY?!?! O_O

Milk Lady: Get your milk here! Fresh and crea- *ninjad by mysterious person* D<

Cacao – You stupid monkeys! Come back here with that Cacao!

Remi: Here’s your ingredients miss.

Elly: *stares at purty grown up Remi* O_O

Remi: …/swt

Troa: Miss, you okay?

Rionell: *plays h4×3d Power Chord to wake her up*

Elly: Ahh! *drops cutlery*

Vivi: *huggles Elly* Lets make those cookies! ^^

Elly: Okay~~ =D

Genvrier: ….*outside feeding the falcon*

Narrator: An hour later, the cookies are done and sweet aromas fill the air.

Vivi: Mmm! Delicious! =D

Rionell: *goes on sugar high and plays random songs*

Troa: These are great!

Remi: *stuffs face with cookies*

Elly: Mr. Genvrier? You won’t have any?

Genvrier: I don’t have much of a sweet tooth.

Troa: Lighten up! *stuffs one down his throat*

Genvrier: Hey waitaminute! *stuffed with cookies*

Elly: Do you think you can take some of these cookies for my grandpa? He lives just north of here!

Troa: That’s sounds simple…

Group: Remember last time you said it was simple?!

Troa: Hey it’s a short walk. How bad can it be?

- 1 map north of Kiel Hyre’s school -

Troa: …Don’t. Say. Any thing.

Remi: Short walk?! We’re in a field full of friggan hunter flies!

Genvrier: *makes falcon eat flies*

Troa: Heh, let’s go.

Narrator: They reached the cottage, just to be rejected by the gate keeper.

Vivi: But,but,  Elly said he was here!

Keeper dude: I’m sorry, he’s not home. If he had guests he wouldn’t have left.

Rionell: Well, let’s go back to Ellylylylylyly! *still on sugar high*

Troa: There’s not much we can do here, yeah let’s head back.

*Back at school*

Elly: Oh? He’s not home? D=

Troa: Yeah, the gate keeper told us to go home.

Elly: In that case, take this key and go in through the side door. Sneaky Sneaky!

Remi: Do we get to use ninja costumes? They look cool!

Genvrier: No

Vivi: Please?

Genvrier: No

Rionell: Pretty please?

Genvrier: …No

Remi: Pl34s3?!?!

Genvrier: NO!!

Troa: Let’s just go already.

Narrator: They skilfully ninja around the gate keeper (not really, he’s an NPC, Nincompooped Phail Characters) and entered through the side gate.

Vivi: Whoa….spooky place! D=

Rionell: So dusty…*hugs Vivi*

Troa: Don’t be fussy, we gotta find Elly’s grandpa.

Remi: Hey look! Some st- *trips and falls*

Genvrier: Watch it! *starts choking on dust*

Troa: Remi! I told you to be careful!

Vivi + Rionell: *falls down the stairs laughing at Remi and raises more dust*

Genvrier: *choke choke* Damnit guys!

Troa: Stop!

Gate Keeper: Who’s there?!

Rionall: Frost Joke !! Ohh~~~ There was a squirrel and he liked nuts, so he taught his son to always for the “nuts” !! Though I don’t see how that has to do with anything…

Gate Keeper: *Ice sculptured*

Troa: What kind of pathetic joke is that??

Rionell: It has to be pathetic to freeze someone as stiff as him.

Troa: Enuff said.

Genvrier: *half dead from dust*

Remi: Hey! There’s a letter on the floor! *picks it up and raises more dust*

Genvrier: DAMNIT REMI!!! *runs and smashes into the Gate Keeper*

Genvrier is K.Oed! Frozen Gate Keeper wins!

Troa: ….Anyway, we should bring that letter to Elly, she might know what it’s about. Who is it addressed to?

Remi: Uhh, where do I find that?

Vivi: Ehh? Did you try looking at the front of the letter?

Remi: Oh, right, sorry. It’s for um…uhh…

Rionell: Spit it out please?

Remi: Uhhhhh~~~~~

Troa: *kicks Remi*

Remi: Ouchhh!! D= It’s for Elly!

Troa: That’s better.

Narrator: The group heads back to the school with the mysterious letter in their possession. What secrets will this letter unlock? Will Genvrier be freed from the prison of dust? Will the gate keeper ever defrost? Will all these damned questions be answered?

Why aren’t I answering them myself? Well, that’s because I am….

*drumroll*

Too ub3r1337h4×0rz!!

Oh, and the fact I’m tired and lazy >D

Random Fic Part 2 O_O

Title: Nagisa Hates Torrid, Eternally. Part 2 

Characters: Too many to count with mah fingers. 

Chapter 5 – Play with my puppet.

From last chapter: Nagisa: *stands on Torrid’s body* THAT’S RIGHT! I WON YOU!! >D

Narrator: From all her excitement, Nagisa didn’t realise the presence of Deitrich… and the real Torrid, cloaked by the assassin’s ever so leet Cloaking skill.

Cloaked Torrid: How long do you think it’ll take for her to realise its fake?

Cloaked Deitrich: Considering that it’s controlled by a clown who has mastered Marionette Control, quite some time.

Nagisa: *takes Torrid puppet to PvP*

Puppet Torrid: Oh no, PvP, whatever shall I do?

Nagisa: You speak oddly today Torrid, maybe a beating will take care of that.

*After 5 long hours in PvP*

Nagisa: Why aren’t you drenched in blood?!

Puppet Torrid: Uh, I donated mine to the blood bank.

Nagisa: O_O!! ZOMBIE!!

Puppet Torrid: Sure, let’s go with that.

Nagisa: YOU FREAK! *Grand Cross*

Puppet Torrid: *shatters into pieces*

Nagisa: IT’S A FAKE?!?!

Hired Clown: Damn, ran out of SP too so…

Nagisa: *twitch twitch*

Hired Clown: Uhh… Look! The real Torrid walking into a tea shop!

Nagisa: How dumb do you think I am?!

Torrid: *walks into the tea shop pointed by the Clown*

Hired Clown: I was being seri- *booted to Niffleheim*

Nagisa: *Goes and rampages in town*

Torrid: *Walks out of tea shop* Hmm…it’s a bit lively out here. *Teleports back to his cottage

*Chapter 6 – Ignorance is Bliss

*Somewhere in Hospital*

Ceiron: Cydude, can you feel anything?

Cyaran: Only the pain of a thousand hornets mercilessly stabbing my face, you?

Ceiron: About the same.

Remi: *asleep on a chair*

Troa: You two ought to consider getting Iron Cains instead of that opera masque, IT DOES NATHING!!

Ceiron: Just because you haven’t been maced in the face yet.

Cyaran: Yeah, we’re the Chivalry’s top knights, but that doesn’t mean we’re rich. Iron Cains are 100k a pop!

Troa: Hehh… I’ll have a talk with the Chivalry Captain when you both are healed

Cyaran: You do realize that will take a while.

Troa: I know. But I’m not going into the chivalry without bringing along a fellow knight.

Ceiron: Why’s that?

Troa: I pwned a seargant long ago and rubbed it in his face.

Cyaran: So? He’s just a seargant.

Troa: Back then he was, now he’s 2^nd in command of the Royal Knight brigade.

Ceiron + Cyaran: Screw that!

Remi: *wakes up* WAHHH!! DON’T HURT MEE!! *falls off chair*

Ceiron: Remi! Are you al…AHHH! MY FACE!!

Remi: Huh?…Uncle Cei! Let me heal you! D=

Cyaran + Troa: Idiot…

Chapter – 7 The Sleepy, the Fat and the Evil.

Narrator: Ceiron and Cyaran are going through tough times. Meanwhile, let’s check on the furious Nagisa.

*In the middle of Prontera slums*

Nagisa: I’ve been humiliated, again! How can I get people to stop helping Torrid?!

Sleepy Stranger Dewd: Shaddap! I’m trying to sleep damnit!

Nagisa: DO YOU WANT TO DIE AGAIN?! *_*++

Sleepy Stranger Dewd: Careful evil lady, or I’ll get my big brother on you!

Nagisa: Oh yeah?! BRING HIM ON!

Sleepy Stranger Dewd: HEY BRO! SOMEONE NEEDS A LESSON!

Fat and Lazy Stranger Dewd: Do I have to??

Sleepy Stranger Dewed: Just kick her butt will ya?! I’m paying for your food!

Fat and Lazy Stranger Dewd: Fine! *walks towards Nagisa while causing earthquakes with every step*

Nagisa: *stumbles and falls*

Fat and Lazy Stranger Dewd: This will be easier than I thought. Body Slam !!

Nagisa: AMAGAWDNO!! Shield Reflect !!

Fat and Lazy Stranger Dewd: *bounces off shield and crashes into a weapon stand*

Sleepy Stranger Dewd: C’mon bro! You’re makin us look bad!!

Nagisa: Making? You’re worse than a pile of horse droppings! It doesn’t get any lower than you two!

Fat and Lazy Stranger Dewd: That’s hurts! Prepare to die!

Shopkeeper: Those insults hurt more than 20 of my precious sabers stuck on your back?

Fat and Lazy Stranger Dewd: Wha…? *dies*

Server: Saber x20 have killed MVP Fat and Lazy Stranger Dewd! Reward EXP: phat! Reward Item: Santa Claus!

Nagisa: THAT WAS MY PRIZE!!

Sleepy Stranger Dewd: Aw man! Now I gotta wait half an hour before he comes back!

Nagisa: …*ninja jumps to Sleepy Stranger Dewd and slits throat*

Server: Nagisa has killed Sleepy Stranger Dewd!  Reward I-

Nagisa: *mutes server*

Server: mgrgsdrjli3r2jdfs

Nagisa: I’m not taking some dirty undershirt for a prize. *goes to Nagisa’s evil castle of doomly fun at Lutie*

Chapter 8 – Gingerbread castle of uber1337h4×0rZ DESERT?!

Narrator: While Nagisa schemes aimlessly to try beating Torrid and winning Tomoya (if possible), a band of familiar characters invades her castle.

Deitrich: ….I’m not going inside that thing.

Berde: I second what he said.

Genevieve: Just go in! It’ll be fun! =D

Erva: Gingerbread cchaa~!! *starts nibbling on walls*

Robin: Erva! Noo~ It might be poisoned!!

Narrator: And what’s good gingerbread without a bit of venom? >D

Erva: *faints*

Robin: D=! *dramatic scream*

Genvrier: Cut the drama. Deitrich, if you will.

Genevieve: What can an assassin do to heal poison??

Deitrich: If one works with poison, one must know how to counter it. Detoxify !!

Erva: *sleeps on Robi*

Berde: Robi, take him home. He’ll only be a burden to us.

Genevieve: That’s not very nice!! D<

Robi: No, he’s right…*takes Erva away*

Genvrier: Now that’s taken care of…lets explore this…lame excuse for a castle.

Narrator: And out of nowhere comes the ghei couple =O

Tomoya + Luke: CAN WE COME?!?! =DDDD?!

Genevieve: Luke! Tomoya! Ofcourse!

Berde: God… more weirdos.

Deitrich: …Agreed.

Genvrier: Let’s just go already.

Narrator: What they didn’t know was the surprise left by yours truly, just past the castle gates.

Tomoya + Luke + Genevieve: Oh my god! What is that thing?!

Everyone Else: ……….

Hidden Sundae Surprise: My name is Sundae Surprise! I have 3 types of chocolate, soft and rich vanilla ice-cream and a thick chocolate sauce!

Deitrich: Uhh…this is supposed to be a monster?

Sundae Surprise: Oh I’m sorry, this castle is closed.

Genvrier: Move it lardball, the sign says “Nagisa’s Evil castle of doomly fun, now open.”

Sundae Surprise: A bit fiesty are we? Why don’ t I fix that with some ICE-CREAM! *flings a giant ball of Ice-Cream at Genvrier*

Genvrier: Ooff! *stuck in the ubercold ball of Ice-Cream*

Genevieve: Brother!!

Sundae Surprise: Sibling love, it’s so cute it disgusts me! *flings Ice-Cream and Genevieve*

Genevieve: Ahhh!

Deitrich: *cloaks and sneaks around the Sundae*

Berde: This is appetizer? Nagisa has a bad taste…

Sundae Surprise: YOU WILL BE SILENCED SLINGER! PREPARE TO BE MUMMIFIED IN ICE-CREAM!!

Berde: *looks around* Where’d Luke and Tomoya go??

*Back at Aldebaran*

Luke + Tomoya:  Wheww….

Narrator: I made those 2 gheis look bad, I know >D.

Deitrich: *jumps on Sundae’s back and starts slashing*

Berde: Good! *starts shooting the Sundae*

Sundae Surprise: Fools! *bleeds chocolate sauce and entombs both Deitrich and Berde*

Deitrich: ….I hate chocolate…

Berde: …Too…thick…

Nagisa: ….They couldn’t even get past the Sundae!! It’s brilliant! My new ultimate weapons are mutant deserts! FEAR ME!! MWAHAHAHAHA!! *cough cough chokes*

Chapter 9 – Recipe for Diabetes

Narrator: Troa and Torrid are having a nice chat in Torrid’s cottage over cups of tea and cupcakes.

Torrid: Hey Troa, have you seen Berde or Deitrich lately?

Troa: No…come to think of it, I haven’t seen Genevieve and Genvrier either, something’s not right.

Torrid: Something’s always not right when Nagisa’s around.

Troa: True, very true. Though, I have this chill down my spine telling me they’re in trouble.

Torrid: That’s not a chill, it’s ice.

Troa: Ice…? Where’d it come..-*Sundae Monster rips off the cottage roof*

Torrid: Damnit, I just fixed that!

Troa: That kind of answers all of our questions.

Torrid: Not really.

Troa: Huh?

Torrid: How did our friends lose to a giant mutant desert?

Troa: …Good point O_o;;

Sundae Surprise: You must be Torrid, the one who’s been giving my master so much pain! Prepare to be frozen!

Troa: Not a chance! HOLY CROSS !!

Sundae Surprise: Fool! Did you think that toy would hurt me?! *entombs Troa in chocolate too*

Torrid: That explains the last question.

Sundae Surprise: It’s your turn, trouble maker!

Torrid: Look! It’s your master flirting with the cream-pie!

Sundae Surprise: NO! HE WOULDN’T DARE! *turns around in rage*

 Torrid: …That’s so wrong and stupid…

Nagisa: WHAT?! YOU IDIOT! KILL HIM!

Torrid: Too late now… Lord of Vermillion!!

Sundae Surprise: AHHHH!!! NOOOooooo………….*melts*

Nagisa: AHHH!!! TSUNAMI OF MELTED ICE-CREAM!!! *drowns*

Torrid: I better start cleaning up this mess. *frees Troa from chocolate*

Troa: I’ll never eat chocolate again, ever!

Torrid: C’mon, the others are probably stuck like you were before.

Troa: Hehh, WHY am I always stuck with clean up duty…

Can Troa and Torrid free the others?

When will Ceiron and Cyaran be well enough to entertain us?

Will Nagisa free herself from the wave of ice-cream?

Why am I asking you these questions?

Find out next time.

To be Continued!!

Best poem by Cei…so far

Well, I is too busy and lazeh to make poems lately, so I’ll just grab mah best one and stick it in for memory.

I regret the times I couldn’t make you smile
I regret the times I couldn’t stay a while
I regret every second I spent away from you
I regret moments alone while I’m out of the blue
I regret moments when I force a smile on my face
I regret weeping tears in a quiet place
I regret ever keeping my feelings inside
I regret ever thinking that I could ever hide
I regret every painful moments I spent falling in love
I regret watching the rain as it falls from above
As I think of all the regretful things of the past
It seems like every memory went so fast
Because every memory that fills my head
Always paints my heart blood red

Random Fic

Title: Nagisa hates Torrid, eternally

Characters: Torrid, Nagisa, Ceiron and Cyaran featured as 2 separate people and other SP members I will mention throughout the story.

Narrator: The sun rises from behind the mountains to warm the peaceful fields of Rune-Midgart. However, not everyone can appreciate this beautiful scene. I shall tell you a tale, one of vengeance, hatred and comedic violence.

Chapter 1 – Another day, another frozen Nagisa.

Nagisa: You will fall today Torrid! *grabs Torrid*

Torrid: …*Frost Diver*

Frozen Nagisa:  @$%!@^@$~!!!

Torrid: Cyaran, could you take care of this for me?

Cyaran: Torrid, you need to learn to take out the trash yourself.

Torrid: I’ve got other things to do…Thanks again.

Frozen Nagisa: I’M NOT DONE WITH YOU YET! *defrosts*

Cyaran: Hold it missy, /stunlock

Ceiron: You gotta teach me how to do that.

Cyaran: Yeah, maybe after we take lil miss vendetta here to the parish, again.

Ceiron: Fine…

Torrid: *drinks Tea in the balcony*

Chapter 2 – Nagisa’s Oath

Ceiron: Where did Torrid ask us to take Nagisa to?

Cyaran: The parish! How many times have you asked?!

Ervalis: Cei-kun! Cy-kun! What you be doing with Aunt Nagisa cchaa~?

Ceiron: We’re taking Aunt Nagisa to the Prontera Parish.

Cyaran: Yeah, she’s been up to no good again.

Ervalis: Eeh…Okay cchaa… Oh! Can you say Hi to Remi for me cchaa?

Ceiron: Remi’s at the parish?

Ervalis: Yesu cchaa~ Father Paul is teaching him Magnus Exormiscus…cchaa?

Cyaran: Alright, we’ll remember that.

Ervalis: Baii cchaa! *runs to Robin*

Ceiron: Alright, lets go.

Cyaran: Ceiman, Nagisa’s gone.

Ceiron: What?! This is the 4^th time! Do you EVER keep your eyes on her?!

Cyaran: How would you like to stare at the face of a twisted crusader that have sworn revenge for the weirdest reasons?

Ceiron: Good point, but we have to visit Remi first. We’ll hunt Nagisa afterwards.

*Somewhere else in Prontera*

Nagisa: Heheheh…I’ve got it! Torrid’s hand book!

Item Obtained, Torrid’s Diary 1ea.

Nagisa: Torrid’s Diary?! This is even better! I shall reveal his darkest secrets!

Item Description: A hard cover book with eerie engravings, belongs to Torrid the Wizard, enemy of Nagisa the Slave Queen.

*open book*

Torrid’s Diary: Content is empty.

Nagisa: EMPTY?! *drops diary*

Torrid’s Diary: Projects hologram of Torrid

Hologram Torrid: You’ve managed to take my book, I’m impressed, but not good enough. Better luck next time.

Nagisa: ….GRAND CROSS!!!!

You lost Torrid’s Diary 1ea.

Nagisa: IT’S NOT OVER YET TORRID! I SWEAR I’LL GET YOU EVEN IF I HAVE TO BLACKMAIL YOUR MOTHER!!

Sleepy Stranger Dewd: SHADDAP! I’M TRYING TO TAKE A NAP!! *throws smelly boot at Nagisa*

Nagisa: ….-_-+++ *throws saber at Sleepy Stranger Dewd

Sleepy Stranger Dewd: Blargh!! *dead*

Server: Nagisa have killed MVP Sleepy Stranger Dewd! Reward EXP: 30! Reward Item: Undershirt!

Nagisa: …*walks away and keeps ranting*

Chapter 3 – Wthax?!

Ceiron: Remi was so cute!! XDD

Cyaran: You’re such a sucker for babies.

Ceiron: What? Little kids are so hu…*barely dodges a sword thrown at him*

Cyaran: I didn’t know you were wanted.

Ceiron: Oddly enough, neither did I.

Cyaran + Ceiron: Who’s there?!

Nagisa: Fufufu, Cyaran, Ceiron, we meet again. *Evil angry smile*

Cyaran: Well, this sure saves us the time to hunt you down.

Ceiron: A bit stupid to show up in-front of us like that.

Nagisa: I think not. *whistles*

*A wave of Spartan spawns out of nowhere*

Cyaran: Hoo…I’ve been looking forward to a good fight.

Ceiron: This isn’t good.

Cyaran: You ready Cei?!

Ceiron: Cy, I left my spear at the Parish.

Cyaran: HOW COULD YOU FORGET SOMETHING THAT BIG?!

Ceiron: I uh…was playing with Remi? D=

Cyaran: You stupid son of a b-

*Your message has been blocked due to detection of swear words, we apologise for any inconveniences, please have a nice mace in the face.*

Cyaran: *ded*

Ceiron: C’mon Cy, you’re not meant to be K.Oed that early.

Narrator: Coincidently, Robin and Erva walk out of a nearby Ice-cream shop.

Robin: Oh my god! An out-numbered knight! I must help him!

Narrator: As the usual “I protect people” Crusader, Robin charges at the Spartan with a shield and short thought of his own safety.

Ceiron: Well burn my helmet and grind my boots, god really does care. *Grabs Cyaran’s sword and starts fighting*

Nagisa: Resistance is foolish, give up!

Narrator: After 2 hours of gruesome battle, Robin and Ceiron are exhausted and confused by the endless waves of Spartans. As of what happened to Erva, he was pushed back into the shop and was kept occupied by mountains of Ice-cream, courtesy of Santa Claus.

Ceiron: I’ll get you back for this! *tied up*

Nagisa: Well now you know how I feel losing to Torrid.

Robin: I lost to a slave driver, I lost to a slave driver *tied up and keeps grumbling*…I LOST MY HONOUR!

Ceiron: We’re tied up and surrounded by thousands of Spartans and you think about honour, some hero you are.

Troa: *Appears out of the Parish* …Not another Nagisa parody, for the love of ghei…I didn’t just say that.

Tomoya: You did.

Luke: You’ve been infected.

Nagisa: TOMOYA!!! *tackleglomps*

Tomoya: X.x

Luke: Tomoya!!

Troa: While Nagisa’s busy with Tomoya, can I ask you something Cei?

Ceiron: Fine, but untie us first.

Troa: *unties* The mighty Cei and Cy, the Twin Knights lost to a slave driver, what gives?

Robin: *walks back to the ice-cream store grumbling about honour*.

Ceiron: Cy got maced in the face 5 seconds into the fight.

Troa: As if I didn’t know that. *casts heal on Cyaran*

Luke: *starts fighting with Nagisa*

Nagisa: Spartans! Wipe them out! Oh, spare Tomoya, I need to take him to PvP >D

Ceiron: Not again!

Remiel: Uncle Cei! You forgot your spear! *runs retardedly with Cei’s heavy spear*

Ceiron: Remi! Go back to the Parish! *gets maced in the face too*

Remiel: Uncle Cei! D=!!

Troa: Jesus Christ, now both of the Twin Knights are K.Oed, by a single mace in the face…this doesn’t make sense.

Narrator: It’s my tale to tell, complain to someone who cares >D.

Troa: ….*grumble fumbles*

Luke: *grabs Tomoya and runs for the hills*

Troa: Heh, here goes! GRAND CROSS OF TTCTBN!! (Things Too Cute To Be Named)

Spartans: Awwwwwww!! <3

Troa: Man that was too easy, your turn Nagisa!!

*crick crick crick crick…*

Troa: Ah well, time to get Ceiron and Cyaran to a hospital for face repairs.

Chapter 4 – Mysterious interference.

*In the middle of a field full of Spartans.*

Nagisa: With an endless army of Spartans, I will take Torrid down once and for all!

Torrid: *sneezes* …someone’s talking about me, that’s not good…

Spartans: Miss Nagisa, when do we get to do more clobbering?!

Nagisa: Okay okay, lets go!

*travels 2 fields west of Geffen to Torrid’s cottage*

Torrid: Hmm…my tea cup is shaking, that’s not a good sight.

Nagisa: Torrid! You are surrounded! Accept your defeat!!

Torrid: *completely ignores Nagisa and drinks more tea*

Nagisa *_*++ SPARTANS! GET HIM!

Spartans: WAAAAAGGHHHHH!!!

*charges*

*Stormy rain of bullets fly past Nagisa and disables Spartans*

Nagisa: Wthax?!

Torrid: Nice work Berde.

Berde: I couldn’t turn down a request from the man who’ve supplied my wolves with 5 years of meat, now I don’t have to shoot cops every day to feed them.

Nagisa: Berde too! WHY IS EVERYONE AGAINST ME?!

Berde: Face it, you’re too emotional about this revenge thingy, give- *dodges hurling knives from Nagisa*

Nagisa: GET DOWN HERE!! I’LL TEACH YOU WHO’S BOSS!!!

Berde: Shall I?

Torrid: …All yours.

Berde vs. Nagisa

Nagisa chooses Shield Boomerang!

Berde takes 50 damage!

Berde chooses Rapid Shower!

Nagisa takes 100×5 damage!

Nagisa chooses super potion!

Nagisa recovers 500HP

Mid-battle speech

Berde: You’re wasting your time miss, take the loss and leave.

Nagisa: For the 100^th time, I won’t back down!

Resume battle

Berde gets pre-emptive strike!

Berde chooses Bull’s Eye!

Nagisa takes 100×2000% damage!

Nagisa has fainted!

Berde has won the battle!

Torrid: That was an interesting battle.

Berde: *walks back inside* Hmm, she’s kinda determined to get you, can I ask what why?

Torrid: …She couldn’t win me in PvP…

Berde: …*walks outside*

Torrid: *drinks tea*

Berde: *starts rolling on the ground laughing hysterically*

Torrid: *calls Troa* Is Ceiron and Cyaran okay?

Troa: Hm, it’ll take a few days to re-form their highly demented face bones, luckily they weren’t crushed due to their helmets. Too bad it wasn’t full face ones.

Torrid: Troa, think you can do me a favour?

Troa: What’s it?

Torrid: Come pick up Nagisa, she’s ruining my flower field view.

Troa: Will do.

Narrator: A few weeks have passed and the sun once again rises to warm the peaceful fields of Rune-Midgart. But peace never remains at 2 fields west of Geffen.

Nagisa: *stands on Torrid’s body* THAT’S RIGHT! I WON YOU!! >D

To be Continued O_O